Photo by Man Alive! and is licensed under CC BY 2.0 Īfter enjoying a wave of success in the UK and even here in New Zealand (their song ‘ Love Will Tear Us Apart’ reaching No 1), the band were just about to embark on a big tour to the US, when Curtis committed suicide in May 1980, after suffering a history of epileptic seizures, anxiety and depression. The lesson to be learned is make good choices and don't be your own downfall.Photo of Ian Curtis from the “Joy Division Exhibition” 30th Anniversary, 2010. He had an affair, and it was because of the affair he committed suicide. Notice how after he reveals his suicidal idealization ("confronts and then dies") he takes a jab at his wife almost like it's all her and everybody else fault he feels that way. Then with the ending verses he shows how unhappy he is with his wife and life in general. The first part of the song was pretty much an apology and plea for his wife to stay because he loved her. Walking on air, hunting by rivers, through the streets every corner abandoned to soon. (People like you find it easy, naked to see. He had issues that came through a lifetime of self-hatred. The last verses are a stab at his wife for not understanding him. He caused his own problem and he hated himself for it, and wanted to die ("Worn like a mask of self-hate, confronts and then dies"). Ian's affair caused his marriage to fail. Ian's wife was confused about what to do with him, and it's after this that he finally realizes the severity of his actions and regrets what he did ("Your confusion, my illusion"). ("endless talking, life rebuilding, don't walk away"). His efforts to talk with his wife were unsuccessful, and she was going to start her life over without him, so he pleaded her to stay. He saw that they were both hurting ("see the danger, always danger"). He had regret for his affair and wanted to reconcile with his wife ("don't walk away in silence"). His wife was in the process of leaving him ("walk in silence"). In a nutshell Atmosphere is about Ian's regrets and deep desire to be reconciled unto his wife despite her unwillingness. What you have with his songs around 1980 are Ian's mixed emotions regarding his marriage. 1980 was also the same year Ian committed suicide. Atmosphere was released in 1980, the same year Love Will Tear us Apart was released.
Song MeaningThe song is about Ian Curtis' failing marriage. It's all about the tough-guy, killer fascade that we develop to keep people away, but at the same time, all we really want is company. One of Ian's friends once said that Ian's face always had a look that said, "get away from me." The important line to read is: "Your confusion, my illusion, worn like a mask of self-hate, confronts and then dies," which Schr4nz explained pretty well. The only song that I can think of that he would talk about epilepsy (and he isn't even talking about his own, is "She's Lost Control," where he feels empathy with this chick with his particular medical issue). He saw things in a different light, the "cup half-empty perspective." He doesn't write about his suicidal tendencies, it's his way of thinking that led him to suicide. You guys are judging him for two things that made him "famous." General CommentIt is pissing me off that all you people who post comments about Ian Curtis' lyrics believe that it is centered around his epilepsy and his suicidal tendancies. So i agree with blithewater but I just thought I'd add more. So he's just asking them, to stick by him, "don't walk away, don't walk awaaaay, in silence". The people that misundestood (or were confused by) his behaviour, often misunderstood a lot more than just him, they never read between the lines. im confused and vulnerable, dont leave until you see that part of me. He's saying, dont leave me here by myself, its all an act, im really not as tough as a make myself out to be, and the only reason i do it to this extent, is because i dont find it as easy as people like you (who don't have see things the way i do). "My illusion, worn like a mask of self-hate, confronts and then dies". People often make irrational attacks on the ones they love or truly care about, it happens because we are vulnerable and scared. I think quite simply, this song is to those who misunderstood him, i have a feeling ian was talkative, and confrontative to the ones who were closest to him. General Commentwhen looking at the lyrics of atmosphere and many of their songs, its important to look at it from ians point of view, one of self-hate (probably because of his epilepsy), isolation and confusion.
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